Inside the Depths of Ones Mind | yourmydevilwithin's Blog

     Lost and Cold
Always alone, walking through this world
     Forever, always prone
To fall from our throne
     Right to the ground
See the pain is all around
     Listen. There's not a sound
Thank god you found em!
     I looked all around for em
Finally my feet will leave the ground
     Yes. Now I'll hear those sounds

I keep on runnin, keep on duckin
     But you jus come back
Its unfortunate
     I've jus been sleepin, jus been numbin
And still nothin works
     Why wont you disappear

I've felt like this for awhile
     I now know you've put me on trial
I can handle this for awhile
     But after all these damn miles
I think I'd rather lose this trial

     Cause I keep on duckin, keep on runnin
God why wont nothing help
     I have to get away from you
Cause I've jus been numbin, jus been sleepin
     Fuck
You still haunt my dreams
     Fuck ... I'm not even numb
Jus go taunt someone else.


-- This is a journal entry from about a year ago... referring to how my ex gf found me pills that I need to be able to function correctly.. etc. hearing sounds-real sounds. Instead of hearing voices that arent there when Im going through withdrawals.
The bridge or chorus... whatever you want to call it is referring to how I keep trying to run back to you but your a hundred miles away locked up in treatment and its unfortunate.
And how I keep trying to duck from this addiction but it keeps coming back day after day.
And how I've been sleeping courtesy of the effects of oxycodone but when i wake up the addiction is still there. How Im numbing myself to mask the pain I feel everytime I think about the fact we cant be together, and even then with the numbness i still miss you more than i can handle.

-Im sure you get the point now... how its all one big cycle. a circle im running in and cant get out of... going on 3 years now... like I said this was written awhile ago... 10-10-11